


I'm not all that bad

by IndiannaJones5



Category: Attack on Titan, Shingeki no Kyojin, Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan, しんげき の きょじん
Genre: 'shared minds', Animal Shifters, Dissociative Identity Disorder, Identical Twins, M/M, Military Police, Military Police (Shingeki no Kyojin), Multiple Personality Disorder, Other, Scouting Legion (Shingeki no Kyojin) - Freeform, Stationary Guard (Shingeki no Kyojin), Titan Shifters, future setting (mobile phones/public transport/normal jobs), no (mindless/normal) titans, scouting legion, stationary guard, war against the titans finished years ago
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-21
Updated: 2020-05-25
Packaged: 2021-03-02 16:53:57
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 11
Words: 2,315
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24310141
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IndiannaJones5/pseuds/IndiannaJones5
Summary: Enough time has passed and the war is over. But that doesn't mean the conflict isn't, and neither is the price on my head.In hiding now and still on the run, I now work as a butcher on 'Main Street' London. And for a few years now my life has been going exactly as I'd planned.I  had hoped I would one day own this shop and run it myself, maybe even merge with the bakery next door. I'd planned to visit other countries, this time as a vacation, to relax.I had so many plans, so many hopes.But I knew, as soon as 'he' walked through my door.Nothing, would ever be the same again...
Relationships: Levi & Eren, Levi/M
Comments: 9
Kudos: 7





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> 'shared minds'

It was early in the morning, June-time. I'd cleaned the shop, prepared the seating area and table flowers, ordered the day's meat in, and was soon to start preparing a carcass for a birthday family meal.

All seemed normal, it was cold albeit, but that wasn't odd.

Skinning and beheading the young calf, I put the leftovers to one side for dog scraps and leather. Which I would deliver later in the evening.

It wasn't exactly a clean job.

But I liked it, and it suited my needs.

The morning was slow, it took me roughly 4-ish hours to finish 1/2 the calf. I'd planned to keep going till I finished, as leaving it only 1/2 done would mean loading it all back into the freezer, letting it thaw and then starting over again.

The bell dinged, sounding a customer (all of my deliveries came through the Blackfoot, only). Sighing I shouted through.

"I don't open till 10/11-ish, is it possible for you to come back later?"

It was quiet for a moment, but I could hear footsteps coming closer.

"That depends, how quickly are you going to answer my questions?"

I froze.  
That voice.  
That authoritative tone.

Did I really expect any less?  
From him? ...no

I knew he'd find me, I guess, I wished I'd gotten a few more years.

Placing the carcass onto the trolley to my side I rolled it into the walk-in freezer and closed it shut.

Rolling my shoulders I cracked my neck to the side and let out an irritated sigh.

I picked up the carving knife I'd placed down and heading to the reception desk, pushing the fly-plastics out of my way as I walked through the archway.


	2. Chapter 2

Stabbing my knife into the chopping-board, I then learnt forwards across the bench, watching him.

Arching an eyebrow, he looked me up and down. His gaze lingering on my face.

I wiped a hand across my face and smeared the blood off with jacket sleeve. His eye twitched at the gesture.

'You got taller.'

'Thanks?'

He frowned.

'You sound, uncertain?'

'I've always been this tall.'

'An odd question to open with, my apologises.'

'Just a tad."

'Ah, where are my manners? I should've introduce myself, my name is Levi Ackerman.'

He extended his hand, to which I barely looked at.

'Lev- i?"

I sounded it out, rolling the name on my tongue.

_'_ Pleasure to meet yoú Mr.Ackerman, my name is M Jaeger.'

I only then shook his hand.

His frown deepened.

'M?'

'Yep.'

'Is it spelt Em?'

'It's only 1 letter long.'

' -okay then, M. I need to ask you some questions, if that's alright with you?'

'Sure.'

I turned back to the back room to check I'd put everything away correctly.

Happy with what I saw, I headed back to Levi, shutting the outer Emergency door behind me.

Peeling my elbow-length gloves off and apron over my head, I left them on the bench and walked round to the other side.

I motioned for him to take up a chair, and I followed suit behind him.

When we were both sat, he brought out a clipboard and pen. It made me smirk at the hypocrisy of it all.

'So, first question for you.'


	3. Chapter 3

He looked at me, clearly not happy I was asking anything before he got the chance to.

'Who are you?, really? I have no issue asking your questions Mr, but, I should like to know who I'm talking to first. I have your name, sure, but first. Lemme see some ID.

...I ain't saying shit otherwise.'

Leaning back slightly did nothing for a moment, considering, then started rummaging in his pocket till he found what he was looking for.

Placing it down on the table, I then picked it up. I checked the weight of it, officer code and district, and then finally the main symbol. Happy with my finding, I tossed it back to him.

'So then, 'Deputy Chief Inspector Ackerman', the fuck you doing all the way out here? In a district not even covered by you?'

He sat back in his chair, regarding me.

'It was necessary.'

'Oh?'

'I- we're looking for someone.'

'And who might that be?'

'Eren Jaeger.'

Nodding at this.

I stood up, and heading for my coat. Sitting back down I passed over my own ID, and began drumming my fingers on the wooden surface whilst I waited for the question I could already hear on the tip of his tongue.

'You look too similar to be cousins.'

'I've heard that before.'

Smirking, I shook my head amused.

'What, then?'

'Brothers.'

His head snapped up from the ID in his hands, and he stared at me wide-eyed.

'Well, twins would be more accurate.'

'I never knew- '

'No. You didn't, and neither did I. It was only some time after the war, that I found out about it myself... '

'How- ?'

I gave him an incredulous look.

'How'd you think? He's a war hero, saved countless lives. I mean, christ, you've fought with him. Your both as famous as each other.'

Squinting my eyes shut and combing my short hair back, I let out a harsh breath.

'If he's so famous, why'd you only find out afterwards?'

'I'd heard of him, sure. But I'd never even seen his picture. Never got the chance- '

'What do you mean, 'chance'?'

My breath stilled, for a moment.

Debating whether to just tell him?  
He knows me, whether he knows that or not. (That is, if he believes this bullshit story I'm just continually throwing his way... )

It's not, that.

Because I know him, uncomfortably well.

And so does he.  
  
  
  


_but what I now know_   
_what I loath_   
_that makes my skin crawl_   
_want to heave and retch_   
_to crawl and cower_   
_hit and hide_   
_stab and maim_

_to tear and bite_

_was that metal, that now bulged against the side of his leg_   
  


_-that-_   
  


_is what I doubt_


	4. Chapter 4

" ...I was in prison for 14 years."

The silence was stifling, and thick enough to drown in.

Numbly standing I walked back over to the counter, lent on it, and exhaled a shaky breath.

He scraped the chair back, and turned to get a better look at me.

"What. Was the sentence for?"

I flinched at that question.

"Murder."


	5. Chapter 5

'Who- ?'

Standing suddenly I turned round to face him, abruptly cutting him off.

'You don't get to ask me that question.'

_his eyes bore into mine_   
_trying to pull an answer out of me_   
_to let slip a name_   
_a reason_

'Tsk, what can I ask about then?'

'The answers you came here for.'

'I thought- 

' -don't, twist your words to find out things about me. If you need want to know, I'm sure you can find out about it yourself at the station.'

His gaze lowered to my neck, my adam's apple bobbed at the unwanted attention.

He swallowed thickly, before cocking his head, the corner of his mouth twitching.

Then after a moments thought, he turned his gaze back to me and gave a curt nod.

'I'll answer as many questions as you see fit, 'Deputy Chief Inspector Ackerman'. And then, you can get the fuck out of my shop... '


	6. Chapter 6

I could barely keep the snarl out of my voice.

'What do you know about him or your family. Surely you knew through other relations?'

'I'd like to say different parents or something easy. But- '

Working my jaw, it cracked to the side, stretching my neck I let out a frustrated sigh.

'I have no childhood memories of him, so I assume we were separated at birth.

But after that?, your guess is as good as mine. I can only vaguely remember back till being about 9 or 10 years old, and even that much is pretty much a blur.'


	7. Chapter 7

'Do you know anything as to where he might go. If he was on the run?'

'I don't- I wouldn't know." (If anything, I try to forget).

'Tsk.'

Hesitantly, I added.

' ...but, I did meet the woman who bore me.'

'Your mother Carla?'

I frowned.

'I never to cared to ask for her name.'

'When did you see her?'

'A year or two after the war. And, she came looking for me.'

'Tell me- '

He stopped mid sentence, the look I gave was livid enough to shut him up.

'I don't like talking about this, and if I had a choice, I wouldn't. But you are, who you are. And I can't exactly say 'no' -as much as I'd fucking like to. So please, would it kill you to try and show some god damn courtesy?'

His face remained expressionless, but I caught the familiar twitch of his mouth and the slight widening of his eyes. Giving nothing away, he just sat there until he finally gave me a tight nod.

'Would you mind sharing what you talked about?'

My own eyes widen a bit at that, his voice was gentle (too gentle), the last time I'd heard him talk like that was after I'd killed a follower of Kenny's. (I'd cried myself sick that night).

'She thought- she thought I was her son.'

His lips parted at that, but he said nothing. Waiting for me to continue.

'Her 'real' son, at least.'

My grip on the edge of the table unconsciously tightened, my knuckles turning white in response.

'She wanted to know where 'he' was -as if I'd know.'

I tried, but a snarl tore through my throat at that last statement.

'She thought I was 'him', and that I'd gotten lost. Whatever the fuck that means.

But the more I denied that name, the more outraged she got. Until she eventually realised the truth ...and she- '

I stood, not wanting to continue anymore. I didn't even realise I was behind the counter again, till the muscles in my hand started to burn. I looked down. I was holding the carving knife in my hand so tight, even my wrist and forearm hurt.

Raising my head, I met his gaze.

'Leave.'


	8. Chapter 8

His face held nothing but very mild confusion. But he stood up and headed for the front shop door. When his hand hand almost reached the door, I was suddenly terrified that he'd be gone.

  
  


that he wouldn't come back

  
  


'Come- '

He stopped at my voice, and turned to face me.

A tired and ragged sigh escaped my lungs.

'Come back another day... '

An eyebrow raised at that, but he only nodded a response to confirm.

And with that, he left.


	9. Chapter 9

It had been several days since he left, 8, to be precise. (But I wasn't counting).

The moment I stepped out of the shop, I'd already lost my mind.

Every time the bell sounded, I'd freeze up and listen out for his voice.

But nothing.

It was no one.

He was a no show.

Even some of my customers had noticed my changed behaviour, they'd asked, 'Are you alright, Mr.Jeager?'.

But all I could tell them was 'I think the stress is getting to me, I've just been feeling a little sick. Thank you, for your concern though'.

I mean, jesus, even the strange lady across the street had said something about it. (Observant fucker).

And I was, feeling sick.

I felt empty, too stretched out.

Lack of sleep was making me lash out, and my work at a par, at best.

I needed to e-


	10. Chapter 10

*ding*

"Evening."

My knife clattered to the floor. Gripping the workbench, I tried my best to calm my breathing down.

"Mr. Jeager?"

"Just a moment."

I took another breath and lent away from the counter to pick up my knife.

I'd underestimated my shaky legs, buckling as soon as I started to crouch.

"Ow."

'Everything alright?"

I smiled grimly to myself.

And then forced a calm tone over my voice.

"Bumped my hip. Take seat, I'll be through with you in a moment."

" -Sure."

I haven't been preparing anything when he'd walked in, but, I chose to stay a moment, to at least attempt to try and calm my breathing down.

Stepping through the fly-plastics, I froze...

Fuck my attempts at calming down, I won't even be able to fucking breath.


	11. Chapter 11

As I sat down, he pulled a book out of his satchel-bag and put it on the table.

When he looked up at me, he frown deepened.

Understanding I probably wasn't exactly thrilled at his random appearance.

'I can come back another day.'

My eyes widened at that.

'No, it's- fine. It's fine. I'm- fine.'

Unimpressed with my response, he opened his mouth to argue, but I cut him off.

'Ask you questions.'

'Very well.'

Flipping the cover back he looked over whatever he had written, nodded, I think more to himself and then put it face down.

'If, you don't mind? Could you carry on from what you were talking about before? The woman?'

I inclined my head, thinking. And then I realised. He'd remembered.

'I- wrote it down. I'd rather do that- this, than talk about it. But you- '

'No, no. However I get the information, regardless of the format, as long as I get it somehow.'

I hesitated.

'You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to. I'm not going to go out of my way, to deliberately make you uncomfortable.'

' -thanks.'

Leaning forwards slightly, I reached into my back trouser pocket and pulled out the remnants of that woman's lies. Tenderly, handed them over to him.

'I won't read them here, if you don't want me to.'

'Yeah, I- You'd- I'll be over- '

Scrambling to my feet, I was soon crouching on the floor in a dark corner.  
  


Away from his stern gaze.

Away from all that tension.

Away from the non-existence sound of pages turning.

Away from that, soon to be, judgemental look.

Away, from all of it.

  
  


Away, from him...


End file.
